41 days to go...

As I passed the half-way mark in my count-down that started late last year with 83 days to go, several things crossed my mind today.

One was my physical state and look. This is undoubtedly an important part of midlife transition to come to terms with. Like most people, I value looking good and want to keep it that way.

For me, looking good is mostly influenced by how happy I am with myself. I believe that good looks are primarily generated from the inside, by a healthy life, exercise and well being. Whatever I take as food supplements and put on my face and body is a small factor in comparison to the vitality that comes from within.

And I learned that by smiling deliberarely, I help to trigger well-being. I know that I really cannot smile 'enough'. Smiling and positive energy trigger good physiology and healthy looks.

Eating myself to 78 kg is one of my objectives in the physical dimension, and I have two more kg to go for achieve that. I also want to loose or reduce the bags under my eyes. Tone my muscles a bit more, and reduce excess fat. My love handles? I only need tiny ones, and I’m almost there.

This evening I had delicious herbed roast chicken for dinner, and it’s fragrance and taste from the herbs was invigorating. It all came from the inside of the chicken, in a way of speaking.

A friend commented today on my blog, saying that it seems that I have grown more detached from life in this period of preparation for rebirth at 50. Yes, this can be true. By necessity, to be aware of my life process, I have to take some distance, but without losing touch.

I was thinking today where to celebrate my passage into 50. Some exotic place would be nice, I should treat it in the way it deserves as a major milestone in my life. Bali is an option. I have felt for some time that the island that Nehru called the Dawn of the World is pulling me. I checked out some possible places to stay, and flights.

More reflections today were that encountering unexpected challenges in this phase of life is helping to keep me humble and realistic.

The lotus, one of the most admired flowers in our world, said to our mirror inner spiritual development, grows from thick mud. I see it as a good model for me, as it has been for countless other people. Growing like a lotus from the mud of midlife challenges.

Welcoming a degree of insecurity, unexpected turns and twists, and discovering new confidence, creativity, and purpose lets my life grow from mud into the sunlight, from narrow to broad, and it helps me to enjoy the diversity of the Universe around me, including the friendships that enrich life so much whenever I allow them to.

Photograph: Osho Zen Tarot’s “Beyond Illusion” reminds of a healthy face generated from the inside.