74 days to go...

I continue my Treasure Hunt, peeling petals off me, hoping to find who I am. Yesterday I left off reflecting how “religious” education has affected my core beliefs.

After leaving the Netherlands in 1985, I settled in Sri Lanka. It was there, while visiting the ancient city of Anuradhapura, that I was first touched by the Buddhist way of life. I remember sitting on the upstairs verandah of the old Tissawewa guesthouse and reading a book about Buddhism, when I got talking with a Buddhist couple there who explained about it. After that, I became more and more interested in the “Middle Way” shown by the Buddha.

But it was not until I had lived in Thailand for some years that I adopted the Buddhist tradition into my life and, by way of confirmation, entered into the monkhood for a while prior to marriage. Through this tradition, I learned to see what is real, and what is illusion. I learned that desire and attachment cause rebirth in an endless samsara cycle of existence. I gained some insight into Dharma, “the true nature of things”. It touched me profoundly, and I considered myself lucky to have this experience.

Still later, as I continued my spiritual search, I came under the influence of Tao, followed by Zen. What I learned in these traditions fitted like a house on my Buddhist foundation. I was not surprised to read Osho’s words that Tao and Zen represent the pinnacle of human “religious” perception.

Eventually, I came to realize that everything of intrinsic value is already present inside me, and that I can tap into it anytime. That experience was similar to what the shepherd boy experienced in Paulo Coelho’s famous novel The Alchemist. After a long journey, the shepherd boy found the treasure in the very home he had left in search for the Truth.

I think I have now come to the pinnacle of my “religious” pursuit. I don’t have to look any further. My house has been built with a potent mix of Buddhism, Tao, and Zen, and I can’t think of anything better. I found that the Truth is here and now, inside me, and in the Universe around me. It fits me naturally, and leaves my soul to resonate with what Osho calls being Zorba the Buddha. Being all at once totally spiritual and totally in this world. Now I walk my path with this guidance. All by myself.

How then should I answer the question who am I in regard to religious tradition and belief? Am I a Buddhist, a Taoist, a Zen practitioner? I respond wholeheartedly that I live in that house, but the house is not me. A Buddhist is not who I am. And the same goes for Tao and Zen. I am at home in these traditions. But they are not who I am.

I will continue my search tomorrow.

Photograph: I like to write at my poolside.