I didn’t find the Treasure yet. I have been trying in the past few days to uncover who I am, by peeling off petals of my identity. So far, I have described lots of things I am not. I am struggling to keep this an honest search. I’m finding it rather too easy to just keep writing about things that matter to my public and private identity, but which are not me. There are many. It is true that they are not me.
So the question remains, who am I? My identity feels like I am wearing a garment woven with strands of different materials. It’s beautiful, and it suggests that the inside is even more so. But it is a cover. I need to continue and go undercover to find out.
This evening I felt that I found an answer to my quest. What struck a cord in me is that I am a spirit. I am an eternal soul, full of energy. The soul is living in an impermanent package. Am I stating the obvious? Do I need to go deeper? My soul has no name, and no time. It has no conditions, no likes and dislikes. But it wants to reach out, connect, and share its energy, for good. It is like a huge shining sun, although its rays don’t burn anything or anyone.
I know I can turn inward at anytime and connect with this soul, and bask in its rays. There is no need to search because it lives inside me, and I can tap into it whenever I allow myself. It feels like entering a state of being, of experiencing no-thing. There is nothing like it for me.
Photograph: I think of my soul like this card, Beyond illusion, from the Osho Zen Tarot deck.
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